A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
