Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
