He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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