She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
