My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
