I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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