Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
