You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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