Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
