Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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