Will you blow on my dice?
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I cockslap morals
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
