i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
