Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've blown a few things in my day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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