I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
