I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
