Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
