And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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