I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
