If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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