Your mouth is God's brothel.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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