i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
