I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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