the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
