they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
