She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
