you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
