So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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