So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
