So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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