The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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