god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
