I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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