we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We have started to decorate penises.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
