Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
