he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
