Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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