He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
