I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
