I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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