Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just high enough for therapy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
