where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
