Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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