you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
