she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
why is half of my head shaved?
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