I puked a lego.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
