Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
