this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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