I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
