He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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