so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
worst night to have a conscience
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
