why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
